Google Says I'm "Not Eligible for Monetization!" (what the heck!)

So, if you follow me at all, you'd know that I was accepted into YouTube's Partner Program ,5 days ago. It has taken about 3 years to reach that point and needless to say, I WAS PUMPED.

YouTube said i needed over 4000 watch hours in a 365 day rolling period, and a total of 1000+ subscribers... I was able to hit 4k watch hours about 6 months ago, and there I sat struggling to hit that 1k sub mark. Well, longer story short, i did it and here we are.

I instantly applied for Google monetization and within 48 hours I WAS ACCEPTED. I almost seemed TOO EASY!!! (because it was)

So, a little backstory.... I used to have a pretty popular podcast called the Geek Culture Podcast. That ended back in 2013-14ish... but a few months before I stopped, I definitely tied a google Adsense account to my webpage, and at the time, we were making a few pennies a day/month/year... whatever. I had forgot about that account, but google did not.

BUT THAT'S WHY I WAS ACCEPTED SO QUICKLY! Upon further investigation, someone else had taken over that website and was using my Adsense to collect and distribute revenue while I was the account holder. I immediately canceled the account, and started a new one. Re- applied to the Partner Program aaanndddddddd......... DECLINED.

What. Why? HOW!... I was just accepted 48 hours ago,... it's me guys! LET ME IN! Nope, there ANOTHER Google account open for me... So, incase you didn't know, Google Adsense doesn't allow more than one account per individual. You can have multiple business and entities run through the account, but only. one. per. person..... period.

SO I went in, canceled again, re applied, annddddddddddd.....

DECLINED AGAIN!

What the frick Google. how?

Me not sure, I'm combing through troubleshooting docs and forums with no google contact or e-mail or phone number... it sucks. I hope you're reading this for entertainment and explanation.. my explanation is google is a faceless company run by robots.

Ok, so... a day passes, i check YOuTube and I see this:

WTF!!!!

No checkmarks,... nothing... I take it to facebook and find out It might be time sensitive and Google is working on navigating all the excess accounts not actually tied to me, and within a few days it'll be sorted out. My advice to you is close everything, and only use the one account you know will work.. do NOT try to streamline emails or account info.. it gets messy and will NOT WORK.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. in the meantime, i cant run ads and if you want to help me or support me, PayPal me some cash. (TheGeekCulturePodcast@gmail.com) SERIOUSLY, DO IT!

BYEEEEEEEE!